mishoni
The mental outpourings and general happenings of an awesome and super hot guy from Canberra!
Escapism is my art form.
Life is much too difficult to hide from. I do a good job of it, but Pook is always dragging me back into it. I swear she needs to just kick me every now. Much too nice to do it, though.
I've tried to escape into other realities for as long as I can remember. I was an avid reader up until three or so years ago. I'd search for a book and tuck myself away. After a time I would emerge, wishing to find the place I might call home. Wandering for a time, jumping from prequel to book to sequel, I would find comfort. Never solitude, as there were always others. I would travel with them and share their joys and sorrows. Yet always their journeys would end. And always I would feel sorrow for having to leave them. After a brief respite (measured only in minutes) I would begin my search anew, and unfailingly I would find a new place to flee to. To escape the confines of my own world and experience another for a time was the prupose of my travels, but it was never enough. Though I tried, I could never find the perfect place from which I might never return.
As fortune (whether good or bad I know not) would have it, the book was ever to end. Reading it again would not provides the same excitement, nor the same comfort. It's nostalgic, and valuable for that, but never the same. So it was, I suppose, that I turned to video games. This could provide a safe haven, and one in endless repetition. Often one could hide in this haven for days on end. Hundreds of hours of needless social interaction passing by or, better yet, replicated in the void. Other times would require a partner with whom one would envision, prepare for, and then execute the journey into freedom.
Countless hours have been spent fixated on a screen, unwilling to acknowledge the slightest or greatest of intrusions upon my voyage. Only when the real world's immutable presence made itself known to me once more was I forced to return home(?). There are times when even I, traveller extraodinaire, must return to my beginnings.
I do wonder, sometimes...
A blessing or a curse that I cannot exist perpetually in the ether?
-Mitch
I've tried to escape into other realities for as long as I can remember. I was an avid reader up until three or so years ago. I'd search for a book and tuck myself away. After a time I would emerge, wishing to find the place I might call home. Wandering for a time, jumping from prequel to book to sequel, I would find comfort. Never solitude, as there were always others. I would travel with them and share their joys and sorrows. Yet always their journeys would end. And always I would feel sorrow for having to leave them. After a brief respite (measured only in minutes) I would begin my search anew, and unfailingly I would find a new place to flee to. To escape the confines of my own world and experience another for a time was the prupose of my travels, but it was never enough. Though I tried, I could never find the perfect place from which I might never return.
As fortune (whether good or bad I know not) would have it, the book was ever to end. Reading it again would not provides the same excitement, nor the same comfort. It's nostalgic, and valuable for that, but never the same. So it was, I suppose, that I turned to video games. This could provide a safe haven, and one in endless repetition. Often one could hide in this haven for days on end. Hundreds of hours of needless social interaction passing by or, better yet, replicated in the void. Other times would require a partner with whom one would envision, prepare for, and then execute the journey into freedom.
Countless hours have been spent fixated on a screen, unwilling to acknowledge the slightest or greatest of intrusions upon my voyage. Only when the real world's immutable presence made itself known to me once more was I forced to return home(?). There are times when even I, traveller extraodinaire, must return to my beginnings.
I do wonder, sometimes...
A blessing or a curse that I cannot exist perpetually in the ether?
-Mitch
No beautiful faces - Smile
Life, games, and living.
My place of work has left me wholly unfulfilled in the time I've been here. That's a little over one year now. In that time I've had one week of training for my real job, and one week of training for a volunteer position designed to take up 5% of my time. Tell me if I'm being silly, but I would imagine that if a 5% job get 1 week training, then surely a 95% job gets two weeks training. I don't understand, but I really want to feel as though the work I do here is valued.
On Thursday I got Super Smash Bros Brawl. It's better than I ever expected it to be, and I love it! I haven't even looked at the PS3 since getting this game, such is its appeal. I had some mates and my brothers over and we were playing for over eight hours in a mostly-continual stretch. I'd love to do that every weekend.
The PS3 landed in my house without much of a splash. I've got a few games that came with it but I haven't really touched them. I can't help but feel that first-person shooters on consoles suck. As a result, I played Resistance: Fall of Man for about half and hour, and haven't touched Call of Duty 4. Is that a mistake? Maybe I should give them another chance.
Working out what I want in life is a pain in the arse. I'm happy in my relationship, in my house, and in my lifestyle. I don't feel a need to change any of them. I do recognise that were I to purchase a house now I could pay it off in about 20 years, though it's unlikely that I'll stay in one place for that long. As long as my income increases at a rate greater than that of my living expenses then I'm set. I don't want to be one of those people that bitches about interest rates and the cost of living. I know it's expensive, but I can handle it. If life is so expensive then sell your damn car. I can do without one. Teach your kids to catch the bus you whiny bastards!
I cannot abide useless people.
I have to wonder how much my life should change to suit another person. I don't have a "life plan" right now. I'm working and saving with the intention of going on holiday. I'm considering going to university. That's all for now, though. Nothing else comes to mind as something that I really want to do. Getting a house would be good as I'd finally have my own place. I could modify it, paint it, and mistreat it and the only person to care would be me. It comes with a very high price tag ($300,000 for a PoS 2 bedder in Whoop Whoop) but with a bit of bargain hunting I could get a place I liked, just for me. And her, of course. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should find out exactly how much money I have and get a house. I've only got an estimate, but I know that I could handle a mortgage of $250,000 or less. It might be a pain, but I already know where I could get an extra $210 / week. I have recently discovered that is quite a lot of money. Moving out will do that to you.
It's ten-past nine and no one else in my team has shown up. I wonder how long they'll be.
-Mitch
On Thursday I got Super Smash Bros Brawl. It's better than I ever expected it to be, and I love it! I haven't even looked at the PS3 since getting this game, such is its appeal. I had some mates and my brothers over and we were playing for over eight hours in a mostly-continual stretch. I'd love to do that every weekend.
The PS3 landed in my house without much of a splash. I've got a few games that came with it but I haven't really touched them. I can't help but feel that first-person shooters on consoles suck. As a result, I played Resistance: Fall of Man for about half and hour, and haven't touched Call of Duty 4. Is that a mistake? Maybe I should give them another chance.
Working out what I want in life is a pain in the arse. I'm happy in my relationship, in my house, and in my lifestyle. I don't feel a need to change any of them. I do recognise that were I to purchase a house now I could pay it off in about 20 years, though it's unlikely that I'll stay in one place for that long. As long as my income increases at a rate greater than that of my living expenses then I'm set. I don't want to be one of those people that bitches about interest rates and the cost of living. I know it's expensive, but I can handle it. If life is so expensive then sell your damn car. I can do without one. Teach your kids to catch the bus you whiny bastards!
I cannot abide useless people.
I have to wonder how much my life should change to suit another person. I don't have a "life plan" right now. I'm working and saving with the intention of going on holiday. I'm considering going to university. That's all for now, though. Nothing else comes to mind as something that I really want to do. Getting a house would be good as I'd finally have my own place. I could modify it, paint it, and mistreat it and the only person to care would be me. It comes with a very high price tag ($300,000 for a PoS 2 bedder in Whoop Whoop) but with a bit of bargain hunting I could get a place I liked, just for me. And her, of course. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should find out exactly how much money I have and get a house. I've only got an estimate, but I know that I could handle a mortgage of $250,000 or less. It might be a pain, but I already know where I could get an extra $210 / week. I have recently discovered that is quite a lot of money. Moving out will do that to you.
It's ten-past nine and no one else in my team has shown up. I wonder how long they'll be.
-Mitch
No beautiful faces - Smile
Language, Travel, and Playstations.
Surprise!
That's all I've got.
I'm trying to find a Playstation 3 (60GB model) and it's difficult. Difficult, that is, if I want an Australian model for less than $1,100. We'll see how we go, but I really want it to work with PS2 games. I'm not willing to compromise on this, so I may end up not getting one. Options that look promising (for the target price) are a private listing that comes with games, an eBay listing with games, and an ebay listing without. They're all in Australia, but I'm bidding against people who might have more cash at their disposal than I do. Rather, people who are willing to spend over $1K on a friggin' game console. Jeez, make my life more expensive why don't you?
Other news? I'm going skiing! Now that exams are over I don't have to concentrate on studying. Not that I did anyway. I think I studied for a total of one hour for these exams. I'll have to do better next semester. In my defense they were very easy. Totemo kantan desuyo! I'd love to take a more intensive Japanese course, but "TAFE" is all I can fit in with working at the moment. I might move over to university next year or the year after depending on the time I have at my disposal.
I wonder if going over to Japan at the end of this year will have any measurable influence on ym proficiency. I'm leaning towards "yes" as even only being in Italy for just over two weeks gave me some insight into how the language works. That was without any prior study, formal or otherwise. I'm looking forward to this trip more and more. It's going to be wonderful, in the most true sense of the word.
And now we get back to work.
-Mitch
That's all I've got.
I'm trying to find a Playstation 3 (60GB model) and it's difficult. Difficult, that is, if I want an Australian model for less than $1,100. We'll see how we go, but I really want it to work with PS2 games. I'm not willing to compromise on this, so I may end up not getting one. Options that look promising (for the target price) are a private listing that comes with games, an eBay listing with games, and an ebay listing without. They're all in Australia, but I'm bidding against people who might have more cash at their disposal than I do. Rather, people who are willing to spend over $1K on a friggin' game console. Jeez, make my life more expensive why don't you?
Other news? I'm going skiing! Now that exams are over I don't have to concentrate on studying. Not that I did anyway. I think I studied for a total of one hour for these exams. I'll have to do better next semester. In my defense they were very easy. Totemo kantan desuyo! I'd love to take a more intensive Japanese course, but "TAFE" is all I can fit in with working at the moment. I might move over to university next year or the year after depending on the time I have at my disposal.
I wonder if going over to Japan at the end of this year will have any measurable influence on ym proficiency. I'm leaning towards "yes" as even only being in Italy for just over two weeks gave me some insight into how the language works. That was without any prior study, formal or otherwise. I'm looking forward to this trip more and more. It's going to be wonderful, in the most true sense of the word.
And now we get back to work.
-Mitch
No beautiful faces - Smile
Ruination.
Where is the point? I feel as though I've tried and it's all falling apart. The truth is, I can't even see evidence of my having tried. I know I did, but I hid. I suppressed it all, and I hid. It was easy. Easier to hide and rpetend everything was okay than to risk the wrath of getting it wrong in the fixing.
Should I have opened up? My vision may be poor, but my hindsight is as good as any, and better than most. My learning, however, is not so shiny.
Betrayal is what i feel I accomplished. I was entrusted with a great many things and I have failed in the duties with which I was charged. To protect and to nurture, and I failed in these things. How I may right this wrong is a wonder that eats at my time, and my conscience. I know not if I am able, yet if try I don't then never will I be forgiven.
There must be a way, but from whence it came, and to where it leads I do not know.
I hope that I can find it, even if it too late, if I can find it then I'll know where to look next time. Should I be granted a next time? Perhaps. It is up for them to decide.
In the meantime I'l wallow for a time, and then ensure that I ruin no one else.
-Mitch
Should I have opened up? My vision may be poor, but my hindsight is as good as any, and better than most. My learning, however, is not so shiny.
Betrayal is what i feel I accomplished. I was entrusted with a great many things and I have failed in the duties with which I was charged. To protect and to nurture, and I failed in these things. How I may right this wrong is a wonder that eats at my time, and my conscience. I know not if I am able, yet if try I don't then never will I be forgiven.
There must be a way, but from whence it came, and to where it leads I do not know.
I hope that I can find it, even if it too late, if I can find it then I'll know where to look next time. Should I be granted a next time? Perhaps. It is up for them to decide.
In the meantime I'l wallow for a time, and then ensure that I ruin no one else.
-Mitch
Worse to bad? Maybe.
Time for an emo 'blog post!
Work is getting me down. I feel as though there is not enough time to do everything, so instead I do nothing. Does that sound like the appropriate action? No? Well, I happen to agree there. I'd rather knock off the most important jobs and then the next most and... you get the idea. Instead, I'm wallowing in misery avoiding all of my problems, be they work- or life-related and ultimately digging a deeper hole than already existed. Bad idea? Yes. How bad? Very.
Work is interesting. There is a lot of it, but I could get it out of the way if I wasn't doing things like this. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I've even identified it and I'm still doing it. Is there a term for that? I know about procrastination - I am its master in all forms - however it seems like something more this time. Self-destruction? Maybe. Is it intentional? I can't answer that myself. However, it may be worth noting that more than a few of my activites are self-destructive, or at the least actively inactive. Intentionally avoiding all issues, important or otherwise.
Mm, a psychologists dream? Perhaps. Maybe I just need to look at my own dreams and aspire to reach them. If I had that motivation then what couldn't I do? Not a lot, I think.
-Mitch
Work is getting me down. I feel as though there is not enough time to do everything, so instead I do nothing. Does that sound like the appropriate action? No? Well, I happen to agree there. I'd rather knock off the most important jobs and then the next most and... you get the idea. Instead, I'm wallowing in misery avoiding all of my problems, be they work- or life-related and ultimately digging a deeper hole than already existed. Bad idea? Yes. How bad? Very.
Work is interesting. There is a lot of it, but I could get it out of the way if I wasn't doing things like this. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I've even identified it and I'm still doing it. Is there a term for that? I know about procrastination - I am its master in all forms - however it seems like something more this time. Self-destruction? Maybe. Is it intentional? I can't answer that myself. However, it may be worth noting that more than a few of my activites are self-destructive, or at the least actively inactive. Intentionally avoiding all issues, important or otherwise.
Mm, a psychologists dream? Perhaps. Maybe I just need to look at my own dreams and aspire to reach them. If I had that motivation then what couldn't I do? Not a lot, I think.
-Mitch
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